Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
