the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
