We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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