During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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