i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
