Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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