I wanna bring you to show and tell
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize