you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
