What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
