dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
