the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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