Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
