i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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