she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I have fence marks all over my body
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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