who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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