16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
