thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
