Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You need a sexual gate keeper
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
