Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
