Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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