She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
