What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
