Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
