And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
