11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
