I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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