don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
True strength comes from lack of pants
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
