good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
do nipples grow back?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize