Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just saw a hot homeless man
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
