I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
