he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
