Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
time to smoke my breakfast
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
