i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
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