Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
