whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
