if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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