he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
