your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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