I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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