If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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