I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
