wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
