Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
