How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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