god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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