what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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