I just made out with a guy for $7.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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