I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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