Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
