I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
