Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
even my farts smell like vagina
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
