no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
