Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize