i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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