You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
