my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
