I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
