Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
