Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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