hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Those nachos came to me in a dream
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
