Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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